i didn't get the job

The Call for a second interview that never comes.

The rejection letter from your dream job that hits you lượt thích a ton of bricks.

No matter what stage you are at in the job tìm kiếm process, it’s likely that rejection has reared its ugly head in your direction. Being turned down for a role you really want is never fun, and it sure can tank your confidence.

And when you’re down in the dumps and vulnerable, disappointment can quickly spiral into a full-blown pity buổi tiệc ngọt. I often see clients who dwell on receiving a “no” from a prospective employer, beating themselves up and categorically slotting themselves as a failure all-around. But the truth is, thinking that rejection has ruined you not only feels miserable, it also holds you back from any future chance at success.

A better way to tát handle rejection? Operating with a resilient mindset. Resiliency involves meeting challenges or setbacks with a constructive approach and focusing on the opportunities created when things don’t go as planned. Resilient people keep a positive, adaptable attitude when thrown curveballs. To become resilient, you must understand that success and rejection go hand-in-hand, and that you simply cannot advance if you always play it safe.

If you’re stuck in a rejection rut, here are four ways to tát feel better—and kick your job tìm kiếm back into gear.

1. Realize It’s Inherently in Your Programming

Rejection weighs sánh heavily precisely because our brains are hardwired to tát pay more attention to tát negative events than vãn positive ones. This “negativity bias” is exactly why we blow a “no” out of proportion and feel sánh disheartened.

You can counteract this natural inclination by reality testing—or thinking about the other circumstances that could have led to tát the rejection. For example, while you may think you were turned down because your resume wasn’t quite impressive enough, in reality the company could have made an internal hire or discontinued the job listing altogether.

Even if you know you were turned away because you weren’t the best fit for the role, be careful not to tát overgeneralize the situation—accusing yourself of being incapable of ever getting a job. Instead, change the story you tell yourself about rejection. Start to tát see it as a fresh opportunity to tát tự even better next time. Think of it lượt thích the new year—each year we leave behind old regrets and resolve to tát improve ourselves the next year. Similarly, resolve to tát blow your next job interview out of the water!

2. Remember That It’s Part of the Process

It’s a hard fact that you’re not going to tát land every job you apply for. No one does! Coming to tát grips with this fact and learning to tát accept rejection as part of the process will help build your mental and emotional armor.

Plus, once you let go of the need for a guaranteed outcome, you open yourself up to tát a world of other possibilities—other jobs, opportunities, and companies that could be an even better fit. For example, one of my clients recently bagged an informational interview with her dream employer. The hiring manager for that position explained it wasn’t a good fit, but my client responded to tát the rejection with resiliency and persistence—continuing to tát look at the company’s listings weekly. When she found another opening that was a great fit, she was able to tát use her contacts to tát secure an interview, and she later received an offer.

3. Quit Overanalyzing

What could I have said differently? Was my handshake strong enough? What was wrong with my follow-up email?

You can drive yourself crazy replaying the scene over and over again in your head, ruminating about the reasons you received a rejection. But the truth is, stewing in your own disappointment only serves to tát keep you stuck in the past and renders you useless in the present at the exact time you need to tát rally, pick yourself up, and charge forward to tát snag a dream job.

Whenever a remorseful thought pops up, remind yourself that it’s entirely unproductive. On the other hand, taking action is the numero uno best strategy for leaving rejection behind. Resilient people often enlist others in their success, asking for feedback and help when they need it.

Try this: When you’re turned away for a position, follow up with the hiring manager to tát ask how you can improve for the future. It might feel awkward, but sending a simple note asking how you could improve your interviewing skills or qualifications is actually quite common. And by incorporating this type of learning into your job tìm kiếm process, you’ll be able to tát continually position yourself as a stronger candidate in the future.

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4. Build Stronger Job Esteem

If you find yourself constantly downplaying your accomplishments and feeling lượt thích a failure, create a list of “bragging rights.” Log all of your accomplishments and contributions, and develop three key stories about times when you overcome an obstacle in the past. You might talk about when you stepped up to tát lead a project, how you landed new business, or even the skills you used to tát resolve a sticky office situation.

By recognizing your strengths and ability to tát succeed in the face of challenge, this simple exercise can instantly shift you from bummed out to tát totally psyched. Bonus: It’s also a great tool to tát have when answering questions at your next interview.

Remember, while a job rejection might seem lượt thích the over of the world, it’s really an opportunity to tát learn more about yourself and the job tìm kiếm process and improve for the future.